Translation EenVandaag. Find the original text by Henriette van Rijsingen in this hyperlink

Israeli Robi and Palestinian Bassam both lost a child to the conflict between Israel and Hamas. Now they are together at organisation Parents Circle. “If we don’t talk, the violence will never stop,” they say.

Parents Circle is an organisation for Israeli and Palestinian parents whose child was killed by the other side.

‘He was torn apart’
Israeli Robi Dalemin lived in Tel Aviv with her two children, David and Eran. She worked for the Jerusalem Post and then helped immigrants find work. Her son David went to an art school and studied educational philosophy.

David entered the army, but ran into trouble when he did not want to serve in occupied territory. “He was torn because he had to join the first intifada. While David had grown up in a family that was never difficult about anyone’s faith,” Robi explains.

‘Your whole life changes’
He eventually joined the peace movement and a group of officers who did not want to serve in the occupied territories. In 2002, David (28) was killed as a reservist by a Palestinian sniper, along with eight others.

“It is impossible to describe what it is like to lose a child. Your whole life changes. You always carry that pain with you.” At first, Robi fled. She travelled a lot and volunteered.

Weekend with relatives
She eventually joined Parents Circle. “I met a religious Jewish man who wanted to take me to a weekend with Palestinian and Israeli bereaved families,” she says.

“At first I didn’t want to, because I didn’t want the pain of others too. Nevertheless, I went and when I looked the Palestinian mothers in the eyes, I thought: if we can talk about reconciliation with the same voice, that’s the most powerful tool you can imagine.”

Visiting schools
Parents Circle seeks to bridge the contradictions of the conflict and bring peace closer. Israeli and Palestinian parents visit schools together with their stories in the hope of a better future.

They hope to eliminate fear by getting to know the person on the other side and removing stigmas from both sides. In this way, they hope to achieve a reconciliation process over time. Unfortunately, under Prime Minister Netanyahu, they are banned from entering schools because he sees their message as “poison for Israeli children”.

Shot dead in front of school
Parents Circle did not only mean a personal mission for Robi. Some 700 Palestinian and Israeli families joined it. These include Palestinian father Bassam Aramin. He lost his 10-year-old daughter Abir when she was shot dead by Israeli border police in 2007.

It was not during a demonstration or intifada, Abir was simply standing with her classmates in front of school. For Bassam, her death was a shock. “I was very angry. She was such a smart girl, full of life, very unique. With all her dreams, she wanted to be an engineer. She is irreplaceable. You don’t know how to survive in such persistent pain.”

‘My child was not a fighter’
Bassam wanted to bring the Israeli soldier responsible who killed his daughter to justice. “Not because he is an Israeli and I am a Palestinian, but because my child was neither a fighter nor a member of Fatah or Hamas. Israel must recognise such a crime, otherwise reconciliation and forgiveness can never follow.”

Abir’s murder did not set Bassam on a path of hatred and resentment. “After all, it was one Israeli soldier who shot my daughter, but a hundred former Israeli soldiers laid out a garden in her name near the school where she was killed.”

Feelings of hatred
Bassam has not always chosen the path of dialogue and non-violence. He grew up in Hebron and became involved in the Palestinian struggle. “As children, we never felt safe. We ran away to avoid soldiers beating us. Our houses were invaded.”

“When I was 12, I took part in a demonstration where a boy was shot by a soldier. I saw him die before my eyes.” From then on, Bassam developed feelings of hatred.

‘We need to talk’
“First we only threw stones and empty bottles, then also discarded hand grenades at the Israeli jeeps.” Bassam was then arrested in 1985 at the age of 17 and served seven years in prison.

In prison came a turning point for Bassam. “I realised that the enemy is within ourselves. It is the fear of each other. That’s why we don’t see each other as human beings. That’s why we want to kill each other. But we are not killers. We have to talk to each other.”

Not easy
Both Robi and Bassam, even in this day and age, still see the path of reconciliation as the only possibility for peace. That does not mean it is easy, Robi explains.

“A good friend of mine is currently a hostage. She was driving children from Gaza to Israeli hospitals. Then your belief system does get tested and you are beset with conflicting thoughts.”

Talking to each other
Parents Circle continues to work even now. “It is the only way to start trusting each other. Even now we are still in daily contact, via Zoom, because there is now a total closure in the West Bank.”

“We are trying to do what we can to support parents who have now lost their child. Hopefully the recent events will lead to a start of something completely new. Maybe talking will finally start, because if we don’t start talking, the violence will never stop.”

Find the source of the EenVandaag (OneToday) translation in this hyperlink