Wesley helps Tilburgers recover from tough events: ‘Here I am allowed to be who I am’
Wesley (35) was out of treatment, called very retarded and would not progress beyond day care. Now he works as an expert by experience and tells his story to inspire others. “At The Germ Hour, I can be completely myself,” he says.
Wesley was very good at hiding away unpleasant experiences. “When I was 16, I was sexually abused. That was covered up. For years I fled into my work. At one point, I was heartbroken and got sicker and sicker. I ended up in hospital because my resistance was so poor.” Wesley turned out to have HIV. “After that diagnosis, I collapsed. I knew so little about it and wondered if I would die. I ended up sitting at home for about five years.”
Personality disorder
Through the mental health services, Wesley followed treatments, but he did not feel right there. He was told he had a personality disorder. When a recovery coach came to his home, for the first time they looked at his possibilities instead of limitations. “That was new to me. I was advised to contact The Germ Hour: a low-threshold walk-in in neighbourhoods in Brabant municipalities. I had a nice telephone conversation with an expert by experience, but the step to go alone was still too big. She offered to pick me up on Sunday to go to The Germ Hour in Tilburg together. For the first time in my life, I came to a place where I am allowed to be who I am, despite my orientation and diagnosis. I never left and took all the courses that were offered.”
Recognition, acknowledgement and hope
Anyone can join The Germ Hour. “First we have a drink and then we see what is going on in the group. The Germ Hour meeting can always be about something different, it depends on the people who come and where the need lies,” Wesley explains. Starting points are always recognition, acknowledgement and hope. The Oranje Fonds supports projects like the Germ Hour so that everyone can participate in society and no one is left alone.
If you give someone a smile, you are already significant.
Wesley grew from visitor to volunteer and now has a paid job. As a qualified expert by experience, he supervises one of the so-called Germ Tables. Project leader Diede says: “I got to know Wesley through the Germination Tables. Once when I was at a Germination Table where he was the discussion leader, I happened to hear Wesley’s story. It’s not like an expert by experience immediately tells what he or she has been through. We are all equal here. Of course, I also tell something personal when someone shares their story. The difference is that Wesley uses his experiences in his work to achieve something in the other person.”
Accessible contact
According to Diede, The Germ hour is important because, among other things, it offers preventive care. “We make it possible to have contact in an approachable way. This can prevent vulnerable people from having to go to regular care. Someone doesn’t always need a treatment plan right away. A Germ Hour where they find recognition or a short course can already be good.” Wesley adds: “With us, a referral is not necessary. In a lot of situations, we always look for a solution right away. We first look at where the feeling is coming from. We try to listen to each other without judgement and dwell on the feeling.”
Diede: “The nice thing is that people really get to know each other. They show interest and ask, for example, how a birthday was. They feel they are allowed to be there and are seen. Some also meet each other outside the Germ Hour. By the way, we also offer participation opportunities, because everyone can join if they want to.” Wesley adds, “Providing coffee and tea and bringing in topics makes someone feel valuable again. They get a sense of belonging. So people who want to can develop further, but they don’t have to. Everyone can be of value in their own way. If you give someone a smile, you are already significant.”
Pure
Diede calls Wesley the most pure person she knows. “He is himself in all situations. That is his strength. People tell a lot to him because he is approachable and reliable and comes across as calm. He has come a long way. That gives hope.” Wesley enjoys being able to help others. “I see people grow. They do it themselves, but I find it very nice that I can contribute to that and give someone a little meaning in life again,” Wesley says.
About the Orange Fund
The Orange Fund believes that everyone matters. That is why the fund is committed to a society in which everyone can participate and no one is left alone. In other words, an involved society; one in which we take care of each other, people have equal opportunities and feel connected with others in the neighbourhood. Together with social initiators, these are people who see a problem and do something about it. They dedicate themselves to people touched by poverty, exclusion, loneliness and mental vulnerability. They are there for others, so the Orange Fund is there for them. To strengthen and connect them. And from the conviction that we have to do it together, the fund works together with various partners. In this way, forces are combined and bridges built between people and organisations. So that everyone can do something for someone else. Discover how you can make a difference on oranjefonds.nl.
